We have been struggling with our resource for afternoon enrichments for E for some time. This is a super struggle for me because I know first-hand how critical enrichments are for E. They are the things that truly light him up - that make his world feel complete. Yet, this year his interest in his enrichment activities has waned until by December, he concluded he no longer wanted to attend any.

We’ve not been able to put our finger on exactly the reason - was it increased anxiety over all, was it the emergence of attention challenges, was it lack of interest in the subject matter, was it misfit with the coaches? The month of December gave us ample opportunity to dig deep into the mystery.

Last year, E was very excited to go to his afternoon enrichments. He felt a strong attachment to several teachers. He was excited to go to classes with peers and he enjoyed the back and forth conversation that coaches would carefully facilitate. His favorite coaches created an environment free of pressure and their seemingly expert knowledge gave him the sense of having found a true intellectual equal. Above all, it was a place for joyful connection and sense of a community within which he felt like he belonged.

Despite staying with the same program, this year the program itself changed. His favorite coaches from last year moved on to new opportunities. The remaining familiar coaches moved to an in-person environment with in-person students (on the other side of the country from us), leaving him looking at masked faces amid boisterous rooms where he ultimately felt excluded because he couldn’t see the same things, couldn’t touch the manipulatives, and the coaches could not hear his words as well as those physically in the room with them. The new coaches and classes were not well equipped to understand the unique needs of 2e learners - they applied direct pressure to share and respond, to pay attention without freely moving around the room, and were heavy handed with the mute button just when E formed a question he desperately wanted answered. Many coaches made a point to assert themselves as experts with more knowledge than E despite the fact they did not await his explanation before presuming his ignorance. And, most offensive of all, the head of the program directly stoked anxieties in E every time they met 1:1. After numerous attempts to find solutions and workarounds with the team, the winter break gave us an opportunity to see the shift in E when not under the stress of his afternoon enrichments. And, it was clear.

Times have changed. And, so too must our solutions for E’s enrichments. Having studied educational trauma and waded through the depths of it with E over the past two years during our homeschool hours together, I know the importance of not waiting for negative experiences to add up. Instead, we must be brave… take a step into the unknown… and believe that we will find opportunities for E to explore his deepest interests with mentors, coaches, and experts that will build him up rather than tear him down.

This feels like a loss to E. He is saying goodbye to coaches whom he admits he “just likes to hang out with.” He is the one that can not stand to think about the loss of a rock in the lawn much less the loss of a person he feels connected to. This is hard.

Yet, it is also a valuable life lesson that we continue to remind him of… “We all change. We can be sad and we can be scared. But, we must also be brave to recognize when change must be listed to and to embrace the new opportunities that change can bring.”